The trailer for the gay conversion therapy film Boy Erased has just been released and we’re already getting Oscar vibes from it.
The film follows teenager named Jared (played by Lucas Hedges), who is forced to attend a gay conversion therapy camp by his religious parents (Russell Crowe and Nicole Kidman).
While at the camp, Jared meets a young minister (played by Joel Edgerton, who also directed the film) who assures him, “God will not love you the way you are. What you are going through is just a moment.”
Singer Troye Sivan also makes an appearance in the film, playing another teenager at the camp. (Sivan also provided the film’s theme song “Revelation”.)
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
The film is based on Garrad Conley’s 2016 memoir Boy Erased: A Memoir of Identity, Faith, and Family. It hits theaters in November.
Watch.
loren_1955
Eager to see this movie. This captures, as well, what has been happening in Mormon homes for decades. A child suggests their being homosexual. The Mormon family in fear and church loyalty kicks the child out of the home, some as young as 12 years old, to survive on the streets as prostitutes and/or drug dealers and worse to kill themselves. For religionists, family is less important than church and the impression they make and give to fellow congregation members. In the Mormon faith, 1000’s have killed themselves over the last 50 years. This and the documentary by Dan Reynolds is timely. This needs to be brought out into the open to save lives.
Mick406
No amount of ‘conversion therapy’ could ever change me. It’s impossible.
Those who say that being gay is a ‘learned’ thing have no idea. It is genetically encoded in us without us having to do anything with it. Some time around the age of 9, I already had the ‘feelings’. I never sought it out. It just happened. But how do you explain this to those who already have their mind’s made up?
I hope this movie enlightens a few blockheads out there.
patricklee5150
I hope so too.
Donald Dork
Probably won’t. The blockheads will neer adit they were wrong
Mick406
I need to make a correction. I just remembered it was at the age of 8, that I sensed my sexuality.
My parents had caught me and my cousin ‘playing’ with each other’s penises. Yep, they caught us with our pants down and our dicks out! My father went into a meltdown. That night, he came into my bedroom and threatened to beat me with his belt if he ever caught me doing anything like that again. I did a lot of silent crying that night.
The next day, my mother and father took me to see a doctor. They talked with him first privately, then went to the car and told me to go in and see him. He was waiting for me. I still remember walking across the parking lot thinking how ridiculous this is. Had THEY no shame?!
I walked in and sat down in front of the doctor across from him at his desk. He was a medical doctor, not a psychiatrist. I could tell he was just as uncomfortable about this as I was. He asked me a few questions about what me and my cousin did. Then, he robotically told me some things about hygiene and to not play with myself. He probably thought this was as ridiculous as I felt about it.
When I got to the car, dad asked me what he told me and I repeated it. He was furious all the way home about the incompetency of doctors. This was in the early 1950’s, and you can imagine the fear people had of homosexuality. From that day forward, I knew adults were not very smart about this subject.
patricklee5150
Thank you for sharing your story…it really touched my heart. So many of us have had similar experiences. I’m sorry you were treated like that.
Mick406
Thank you Patrick!!!
I was hoping as I spilled my heart out that someone might identify with this or at least commiserate. I loved both my parents and never held this against them. I think I was very intelligent at that young age, for I could see through all the smoke screens. I couldn’t believe that my dad got so upset about it.
From talks with my ‘normal’ and straight male friends, their parents didn’t go into a rage when THEY were caught whacking it with another male friend. A LOT of young males had experiences like this and turned out to be heterosexual. I’m 70 and still talk with some of my former classmates about our ‘episodes’ and we laugh about it. It was ‘close times’ with each other and we were glad and proud of it. It made for a special bonding. We are all married to women and none of us regret our para-homo days. i think they all shook off the homo feelings, but it stayed with me the rest of my life. I conceal it, except on a forum like this.
I think my dad was suspicious of me even when I was grown and brought fellow Army soldiers home with me over a weekend for an innocent get-away from the barracks. He couldn’t stand four of us sleeping in two beds. Still, I never held this against him. He loved me and we were close my entire life up until he died. Same with my mother.
I just know if one of my kids had ever done the same things I had done, I would not have made them feel miserable and try to scare the hell out of them. I might have a talk with them and explain how rough life can be for your choices. Just cautionary stuff.
Again, thank you for letting me know my words were appreciated and not wasted.
patricklee5150
I’m looking forward to seeing this movie. I came of age in the 1970’s in a small town in Northern California. I believed I was the only person in town like me. Then, I met Brian and he was such a flamboyant gay and we became the very best of friends. I loved him so much, just not like that. I wish we could’ve loved each other like that, but we were closer than I’ve ever been with another person. When he was only 24 years old he shot himself and died. That was over 35 years ago and I still grieve for him. We both were messed up in our heads and experienced some degree of self hatred. But, he committed suicide because he believed he was unlovable and he couldn’t bear the thought of never finding true love. You see how dangerous it is to let others convince us that we aren’t worthy of love because we’re different than them?
Mick406
Oh, Patrick. That was such a sad story! I know how you felt, for I too grew up in a small rural town in the South, thinking there was no one else like me.
I had a dear friend that I loved just like you did Brian. His name was Tommy, and we both got drafted during Vietnam. I came home alive. He didn’t. Was killed on his very last day of duty there. He had already packed his bags to get on the plane to come home. He was married to a beautiful girl. But before this, when he would spend the night with me he would tell me he felt closer to me than anyone else in the world. Said he loved me. And yes, we did do things under the sheets. I still remember his touch and i miss him to this day. He was the only friend I had like that who ever kissed me on the lips! He would never have done that with any other male friend. I think about him each night when I go to bed.
Thanks for sharing!
Mike
patricklee5150
Mick 406 Thank you! You sound like an awesome person… I’m sure we would’ve been best friends if we had met as boys. I’m deeply sorry about your dear Tommy not making it home from Viet Nam. You both are my heroes! I confess I’m not sure what I’m feeling right now…it’s joy from how beautiful your friendship was and how it still comforts you and I feel deeply sad for your loss. I feel close to you and we don’t even know each other. That’s pretty beautiful, I think. ??
Mick406
Yes, I think it is beautiful too. I felt like I knew you last night as I typed away. We are of kindred spirits because we have felt deep friendship and the love that comes with it. And then . . . we lost those loves through death. You take care of yourself.
Mike
Luvstoread
Wow, what beautiful and heartbreaking stories all have shared. I too had the sense of attraction at an early age. Hello, I was in love with Donny Osmond and swooned over the Teen Beat covers. My parents even took me to see The Osmonds when I was a kid. Had some experiences in high school with what now would be considered illegal in the eyes of the law. I was the kid. Still it felt nice to be needed at 16. Through all this I became a born again Christian in my teen years. Joined the Navy thinking it would help to get away from these feelings. It’s just exacerbated the problem. Trying being on a ship with so many good looking men. After I got out, I dove into church thinking it would help. Talk about feeling guilty; try sitting in a Southern Baptist Church and being in love with your best friend in your 20’s. Tried Christian counselling and prayed and prayed. I finally learned you just can’t pray away who you really are. For some, it’s easy to accept. I’ve learned others just have a harder time accepting who they are due to their family environment and the pressure of wanting to be what others want you to be. And, that would be “straight”.
karljordinson
I was crying watching the trailer. It is such a powerful subject I can’t wait for this to come out! Pardon the pun!
karljordinson
A powerful story Mick406. I haven’t got a bad story to tell I didn’t come out till in my twenties and both parents and family I couldn’t have asked for a better start with supper and love.
Hope you are ok now?
Mick406
Yes Karl, I’m fine.
I have a wonderful ‘regular’ family and grandchildren. Plus, I have the most vivid and fond memories of male friends from the past I have truly loved with all my heart. This may sound corny, but each of those three I mentioned about, had their own unique attractive body smells. I can close my eyes at night and smell them. Sweet smells. See their faces. Play back ‘mind-videos’ of many close moments with each of them. Praise them in my mind for being such wonderful companions, and feel SO fortunate they were a part of my life in my younger and formative years. Each one taught me something useful in life, and ABOUT life. They each had amazing talents and generous hearts. Oh, how lucky I was to have had their friendships!!!
Thanks for asking!
Mike
karljordinson
I don’t think things have changed there just a lot more of us out there and parents meet gay work colleagues and are introduced to gay life trough media that some parents are more tolerant. I would say my Mam and sister spend more time on the gay scene and are the first to have a red ribbon each year and wear it proud. In some ways it’s a different world and generation now!
Mick406
Luvstoread
Wow! I think many of us have had similar experiences. I too was very religious, and still am somewhat. I am Catholic and tried so hard to pray away my ‘condition’ and saw that it was going to be a futile effort.
When I was in the Army in Germany, I had a roommate named Ed. He was a 6′ 2″ handsome lad with a great sense of humor. If you were in the Navy, you know how it is when you get confined to one room with someone for a long period of time. You develop a sense of companionship that after a long period of time can be very powerful, leading to ‘protectionism’ of each other and being open and sharing deep and personal feelings. Ed was into photography, and many nights all alone in our 2-man room in the barracks, he would show me how to work his fancy cameras. One night, he leaned over me from the back trying to help me adjust a lens I had stuck up to my face. I felt his touch. His body gave off pheremones, I guess, because he always smelled real good. An attractive odor. That was my first inclination that I felt ‘desire’ to be even closer. I was afraid of him, though. I didn’t want him to dislike me. The friendship was much more meaningful than physical pleasure. We took a lot of trips together touring Germany on our free time. We stayed one night in this Germany private guest house, and the room we were given was freezing cold. We shuddered as we shucked ourt clothes off to get in the single bed in that room. We were shaking and shivering and laughing. That’s when I buried my body up beside him and said, “I’m so damned cold, just let me stay close to you to keep warm.” He laughed and wadded up beside me and we were snug under a big down comforter, clutching each other and still shaking. To shorten this story, let’s just say we had talked long before about knowing we both had whacked off in the dark in our room in the barracks and laughed about it. This night, we got daring and it was our first time to give a hand-job to each other. From that day on, we frequently engaged in mutual sex. I broke my heart to say good-bye to him when I had to leave him behind to head back to the States Ed is married and has two grown children and we still communicate with each other thousands of miles apart, after 50 years!
I had a similar experience being CONFINED in a small space in a dorm room in college after my days in the Army. My roomie played on the college baseball team and was a well respected athlete. We grew to know each other well during 3 years of living together. We began to talk about things. He had a girlfriend that he was crazy about, but he would always joke about having to ‘stroke it’ when I was not in the room because he missed her. One night I told him why in hell did he have to wait to do it only when I was gone from the room. I got bold and said, “Hell, we know we both do it. There’s a partition between me and you, so I can’t see you and you can’t see me. So, next time you want to jack, just tell me from your side of the room and I’ll join you.” We laughed like crazy. After that first time of ‘mutual stroking’ out of sight from each other, we said to hell with the partition and we both would get in one bed and ‘go to town’ sitting up, shoulder to shoulder, and often trading hands. We both grew very fond of each other. So much, in fact, that he asked me to be Best Man at his wedding. Many years have passed and we too stay in touch. He has 2 grown children.
I think these were two of the ‘purest’ stories I could tell to show how many, many men can engage in ‘homo activity’ but not be declared ‘gay’. Perhaps we all had a hint of ‘Bi’. I don’t know. When the dust settles, the other guys always revert to 100% hetero, while I ride the fence. I’ve led a straight life, but I’m certainly not straight, and I’m certainly not homo. I’m lost in some kind of in-between zone. It is the homo slanted zone that has expanded my heart’s ability to genuinely love another guy, and definitely the zone that has broken my heart several times . . . . due to the death of a buddy, separation after military service, or graduation from college. I loved all three of these guys with a passion, and mainly because of their gregarious, and kind personalities. I miss them all . . . .
Mike
Luvstoread
Mick406
I too had a friend that I loved when I was in the Navy. When I was stationed at Parris Island, I knew a Marine who’s name was Ed as well. A few years ago I was thinking about him and thought I could look him up and get his phone number online. We reconnected. He’s married with two children and one grandchild. He still has the Amy Grant tape I made for him with the song Friends with Michael W. Smith. When he got transferred to Okinawa, Japan; I was a basket case that whole weekend. I’ve never cried so much my whole entire life. Thanks for sharing your beautiful story as well. There is nothing like the bond of a true friend!! As Anne with an E would say, you were truly kindred spirits!